Cicada Season Apocalypse: When Nature Destroys Your Vineyard
Robbie's backyard grapes fell victim to an unprecedented cicada invasion when multiple broods—7-year, 13-year, and 17-year cycles—all emerged simultaneously. Guest Moo, the resident sommelier (much to his chagrin), explains that once cicadas girdle the phloem tissue, recovery is bleak: the vines have maybe 3-5 years left. A crab apple tree in the yard appears completely done for, while the blackberry bushes took equal damage across the board.
Moo's Identity Crisis: Beyond the Grape Guy Stereotype
Mid-episode, Moo finally snaps—he's tired of being exclusively known as 'the grape guy' on the podcast. When Dingo sarcastically suggests he rebrand as 'the masturbating Chuck E. Cheese guy,' the hosts immediately commit to the bit, joking that they'll make it happen and even threatening to record next week's episode at Chuck E. Cheese itself. Moo then reveals he's banned from Chuck E. Cheese, immediately killing that plan.
White Claw Surge Taste Test: The Blue Can Experiment
Dingo cracks open a White Claw Surge (8% ABV, pineapple flavor) for his first taste, calling it 'kinda gross' and describing it as tasting like pure alcohol. The gang then descends into a absurdist debate about whether pineapple is technically a berry, with Moo and Tad pulling up Google results confirming it is indeed a multiple berry, while Dingo remains skeptical and the hosts mock the marketing decision to make a blue can with pineapple flavor.
Audio Chaos: Guest in a Cavernous Kitchen
Moo's audio setup proves disastrous—he's calling in from an empty kitchen with no furniture or soft furnishings, creating a train station bathroom-level echo that plagues the entire episode. The hosts debate fixing it in post while Moo promises that if they send him a mic for next time, he can do 'legit' recording. By the end, even Dingo quips that 'with the way this is going there's not going to be a next time.'
I'm sick and tired of being the grape guy... I wanna be whoever I wanna be. That would be funnier than being the grape guy. It really would. - Moo← All episode posts