The Exotic Animal Community & Joe Exotic Types
Jordan details his firsthand experience in Louisiana's exotic animal world, where he met people disturbingly similar to Joe Exotic from Tiger King. He explains that the only people drawn to owning exotic animals are typically dysfunctional drug users, specifically those deep in meth culture. The exotic animal scene is characterized by big plans, rundown junkyards masquerading as habitats, and a pattern of neglect that mirrors hoarder houses.
Living with Java Macaque Monkeys
Jordan's family had five macaque monkeys when he was a kid—small, foot-tall creatures that look like little old men. Two lived outside in a chain-link cage built by his meth-using stepdad; two lived inside in bird cages with wall-mounted leashes. Unlike dogs, these intelligent but alien primates showed affection unpredictably and didn't respond to human approval the way domesticated animals do. One disturbing fact: monkeys will rip out cats' whiskers to use as dental floss, repeatedly.
How His Stepdad Got Into Exotic Animals
Jordan's mom met his stepdad when she was 27 and he was around 38—a self-described 'crystal meth Albert Einstein' who built intricate PVC structures. When Jordan was nine (2001-2002), his stepdad introduced the idea of getting exotic animals, which his mom surprisingly went along with, perhaps due to her own troubled past. The era and lack of internet exposure meant they didn't immediately realize how problematic the situation was, unlike today where anyone can Google how terrible it is.
His Stepdad's Death & What Happened to the Monkeys
Jordan's stepdad eventually lived alone in that monkey house, suffering from decades of asthma and breathing problems after a chemical plant accident involving mustard gas exposure. He was found dead at around 59-60 years old, having been deceased for a day or two. When the monkeys were discovered, they hadn't eaten his body—instead, they'd demolished the kitchen by opening the fridge and eating all the food, demonstrating their intelligence and dexterity in ways dogs and cats cannot.
Social Impact & Looking Back with Regret
Having monkeys made Jordan deeply uncomfortable around peers. He spent weeks at friends' houses throughout high school to escape the weirdness, eventually realizing he could have embraced the eccentricity instead of resenting it. His resentment toward the monkeys stemmed from feeling like they competed for his parents' limited attention. Today at 31, Jordan agrees that exotic animals shouldn't be kept in homes—it's bad for the animals and bad for people like his family.
Louisiana Violence & Baton Rouge's Gang Problem
Jordan briefly discusses his hometown of Baton Rouge, which has one of the highest per-capita murder rates in the country, second only to New Orleans. Despite the statistics, he notes it's mostly gang-related violence among people already in conflict, not random attacks on innocent bystanders. Denver has four to five times Baton Rouge's population but significantly fewer total murders, illustrating the city's dangerous reputation.
His Cat Louie's Near-Death Emergency Surgery
Jordan's nine-year-old cat Louie (mistakenly named when he thought she was male) nearly died after swallowing a Nerf dart suction cup during fetch play. An emergency overnight vet performed exploratory surgery and found the blockage, saving her life—costing $1,800, half covered by pet insurance from his EA Games job. The vet discovered Louie was female while operating, prompting an awkward in-surgery sex-reveal that made Jordan cry.
If you have monkeys and cats in the same house, the monkeys will rip out the cat's whiskers and use them as dental floss. And they will do that over and over. — Jordan← All episode posts