America Cancels Its Own Birthday Parade Because It's Too Hot Outside
On the exact day America turned 250 years old, the country canceled its own birthday parade because it was too hot to stand outside. The Independence Day parade in Washington DC, a tradition that draws hundreds of thousands of people to the National Mall every year, was scrapped...
Ali Larter Quit Hollywood Parties for Idaho Ice Cream and Has Zero Regrets
Ali Larter, who plays a wildcat on a prestige TV show about the oil industry, has apparently become the most aggressively wholesome person...
Man With World's Smallest Penis Raises $13K, Books His Own Surgery
A 38-year-old South Carolina man who publicly claimed the title of world's smallest penis has raised nearly $13,000 from strangers on the...
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DSA Would Be 'Thrilled' for AOC 2028 Run, as Squad Notches Another Primary Scalp
The Democratic Socialists of America would be 'very thrilled' if Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ran for president in 2028, according to DSA New York City co-Chair...
Scientists Find Potentially Habitable Planet 25 Light-Years Away
Astronomers have found a planet twice the size of Earth, sitting in the exact zone where liquid water can exist, just 25 light-years away. They're calling it...
America Turns 250 and Its Whole Life Story Is a Staged Photo
America turns 250 this year, and The Guardian has marked the occasion with a genuinely brilliant essay that asks the most uncomfortable birthday question...
Disneyland's 1 Billionth Guest Is an 8-Year-Old From Arizona on His Birthday
Somewhere in the multiverse, there is a child who showed up to Disneyland on his 8th birthday and got named the one billionth guest in the park's 70-year...
A 28-Year-Old Has Interviewed 3,000 WWII Vets. Only 30,000 Are Left.
Ten years ago, a kid in Southern California started driving around his neighborhood with a recorder, looking for old men with war stories. Today, Rishi Sharma...
Ronaldo's First Knockout Goal Ever Saves Portugal at 94 Minutes
Cristiano Ronaldo has played in five World Cups spanning more than two decades, and he had never once scored in a knockout round until yesterday. That changed...
Polymarket Paid Influencers to Fake $900K in Wins on Clone Sites
Somewhere out there, a guy filmed himself "winning" $100,000 on a prediction market bet about Donald Trump saying "McDonald's" on TV. Trump never said it. The...
Trump Wants His Face on Mount Rushmore. The Mountain Said No.
Donald Trump has had a federal building named after him, two naval warships, an airport, and a government savings account. He flew to Mount Rushmore on the eve...
Three Children Dead After Boat Capsizes on Geneva Lake in Fourth of July Weekend Storm
Three children are dead after a boat capsized on Geneva Lake in Wisconsin Friday when a severe storm rolled in without warning, killing them before rescuers...
AI Reads 2,000-Year-Old Burned Scrolls and Finds Lost Stoic Philosophy
A volcano destroyed these books nearly two thousand years ago and turned them into charcoal. A bunch of engineers with machine learning just read them anyway....
Poop Parasite Hits 18 States and Nobody Knows Where It's Coming From
More than 400 Americans are currently experiencing what the CDC clinically describes as 'watery diarrhea with frequent and sometimes explosive bowel...
America Turns 250 and Charges $1,330 to Join the Party
America is throwing itself a 250th birthday party this Fourth of July, full of flags and founding-father pageantry and naturalization ceremonies at George...