Cicada Apocalypse & Grape Casualties
Robbie's backyard grapes got absolutely destroyed by an overlapping cicada cycle (7, 13, and 17-year broods all hit at once). Moo, the guest sommelier, drops some brutal truth: once the phloem tissue is girdled, you've got 3-5 years max before the plant is toast. The conversation spirals into why Moo is tired of being pigeonholed as 'the grape guy' and wants to rebrand as the 'masturbating at Chuck E. Cheese guy' instead.
The Chuck E. Cheese Incident That Started Everything
In classic Dingo Weekly fashion, the crew can't let go of the fact that Moo once jerked off at Chuck E. Cheese—specifically in the ball pit. They debate whether this makes him a bully victim or just a guy who made really bad decisions, ultimately deciding that you simply should not masturbate in public spaces, period. The running bit resurfaces multiple times throughout the episode and never stops being awkward.
White Claw Surge & Beverage Taste Tests
Dingo cracks into a White Claw Surge (8% ABV, pineapple flavor) and immediately regrets it. The crew debates whether pineapple is a berry (it is, according to Google AI), whether the blue can makes sense with a pineapple flavor, and why decaf coffee at night is a completely valid comfort beverage. Tad defends his switch to decaf for evening sipping while Robbbie insists coffee is purely about the caffeine boost.
Fast Food Pizza Rankings & Regional Food Wars
The hosts rank fast food pizza chains (Domino's, Chuck E. Cheese, Little Caesars, Pizza Hut) based on nostalgia and actual quality. A tangent about Pizza Hut's salad bar leads to a story about taking an Italian exchange student to Pizza Hut (not ideal), which pivots into a heated defense of Philadelphia cheesesteaks vs. New York pizza supremacy. The crew agrees bread quality is everything but can't decide if tariffs will make importing shamans for ayahuasca retreats financially viable.
Baseball, Skateboarding Skills, & Dad Bod Athletics
Robbbie defends baseball as a technically demanding sport (pitcher, shortstop), while Dingo dismisses it as boring. The crew shares their athletic peak moments—Dingo can't kickflip without fear of breaking his wrist and losing health insurance, Tad could pull 360 flips but never nailed kickflips, and Robbbie blew out his knee playing soccer with his three-year-old. They discuss stress tests, running distances, and why knees betray you after 30.
Psychedelics, Shamans & Frog Venom Economics
Tad describes someone's intense South American ayahuasca + smoked frog venom retreat while the crew debates whether you can import a Peruvian shaman to the US and whether tariffs apply. Robbbie claims he might have lied about already having a shaman, and Tad volunteers to be the crew's shaman for a fee. The bit devolves into discussions about tipping culture and whether a shaman's personal origin matters.
I'm sick and tired of being the grape guy... I'd rather be the masturbating at Chuck E. Cheese guy. It would be funnier than being the grape guy. It really would.← All episode posts