The Return of Scroll: Bullying, Trauma, and Misunderstandings
Matias arrives convinced the hosts are bullying him for being American and fucking with him over time zones and broken promises. The crew insists they haven't talked in weeks and deny any fuckery, but the conversation quickly devolves into mock therapy where everyone claims to be traumatized by everyone else. Despite the chaos, Matias admits he's been flaky too, and the episode becomes less about actual offense and more about the absurdist dynamic these four have cultivated.
Music, Performances, and The Honeybees (Not the Korean Ones)
Matias discusses his band's recent 50-minute concert at a nursing home and their upcoming music releases. The crew debates band names extensively—rejecting Baldi Longhair, Thread Bond, and various other options before settling on The Honeybees. There's genuine excitement about Matias's composition 'Bartender's Walls,' though the hosts joke that they don't actually believe he'll release it. The conversation touches on swing versus jazz, the challenges of adding musicians to a tight trio, and the need for a professional drummer.
The Bartender Obsession and Terrible Relationship Advice
Matias reveals he's infatuated with a 35-year-old bartender named Alexandra in Turku and wrote a song about her, planning to perform it at her workplace and have her magically kiss him afterward. The hosts deliver hilariously bad advice involving stalking, imprinting like baby ducks, following her around town, and checking her trash. Matias admits he falls in love weekly when he goes into town but tries to maintain some restraint, while the crew mocks his romantic delusions with dark, nonsensical suggestions.
Finnish Life, Physical Appearance, and Appearance Makeover
The hosts comment extensively on Matias's appearance—praising his recent 10-kilo weight loss, ponytail, and overall glow while he's convinced they're lying. They compare him to characters from Tangled and Harry Potter, suggest eyeliner would help his eyes 'pop,' and debate whether he should shave his head and clean up his beard. The conversation includes tangents about his general disheveled forest-creature aesthetic and comparisons to mythical beings like old wood nymphs and trolls.
American Politics, International Perspective, and Mushroom Scheduling
Matias mentions Finland has a racist politician but notes he's still 'light years ahead' of America's current leadership. The hosts joke about Trump's ambassador to Greenland (the Louisiana governor) and make dark predictions about immigration policy. Mid-conversation, Matias reveals he has mushrooms in a filter bag but won't take them because the recording schedule got fucked up, leading to debate about whether he's more insufferable on or off psychedelics, and promises to return next week to do them 'correctly.'
I'm so traumatized at this point that there's no surface there to touch it's just there's nothing left it's just burned around. — Matias← All episode posts