Martha Stewart Didn't Dine and Dash, Says Woman Who Does Her Makeup

The Alleged Crime Scene Is the Polo Bar

Let's set the scene, because the stakes here are exactly as high as they sound. Before filming began on Season 16 of "The Real Housewives of New York City," the cast gathered for dinner at the Polo Bar, the Ralph Lauren restaurant where a table is a status symbol and a burger costs what a used Honda costs.

Cast newcomer Hailey Glassman later told Page Six's "Virtual Reali-Tea" that Stewart "dined and dashed" on that evening. Not borrowed money. Not forgot her wallet. Dined and dashed, which is the phrase you use for a teenager sprinting out of a Denny's.

The woman who built a billion-dollar empire on the correct way to fold a fitted sheet, accused of petty larceny by a reality TV rookie. We live in a rich and strange time.

The Defense Rests, and It's Weirdly Solid

Enter Toye, 45, who is also a RHONY newcomer, and who describes Stewart as her "best friend." She told Page Six that the whole accusation collapses on the facts. Stewart was invited last-minute, she was at a conference, and she told the group she'd arrive around 10 o'clock.

"We were done with dinner," Toye said. "She might've had a sip of my martini or margarita. Why should she pay?"

Honestly? Fair. If you roll up after everyone has eaten, stay 10 minutes, and steal a sip of someone's drink, you are a guest, not a diner. Nobody splits the check with the person who arrived for the toast. Toye's entire case is that you cannot dine and dash if you never dined. It's a tidy argument, and it would hold up in a court of law, or at least in a court of Bravo.

Wait, Why Does the Makeup Artist Know Martha Stewart?

Good question. Toye is a makeup artist, and she says she does Stewart's makeup. She also says she can FaceTime Stewart "when I need her." Toye and Stewart are close enough that Stewart is the reason Toye already knew castmate Erika Hammond before the show, through what Toye calls their mutual friend.

Then there's the other connective tissue. Toye has known cast member Sai De Silva for more than two decades, since the two of them worked as servers at Scores, the Upper East Side strip club. So the Season 16 social web runs from a strip club waitstaff to one of the most famous domestic empires in American history. Six degrees of Kevin Bacon has nothing on this.

Martha Is Having the Time of Her Life

Stewart is not an official cast member, but she has popped up several times this season, and her name has been dragged into the drama among the women whether she likes it or not. Toye says Stewart has been "getting a kick" out of watching clips of herself on the show.

That tracks. This is a woman who did federal time, came out the other side, and rebuilt herself into a roast-battle-ready, thirst-trap-posting national treasure with a famously self-aware sense of humor. Being a recurring cameo on a Bravo show she gets to watch from a safe distance is pure upside. She gets the attention, none of the fights, and apparently a free sip of margarita.

No, Martha Is Not Joining the Cast

Fans keep wondering whether Stewart might go full-time. Toye wants no part of it. "I don't wanna fight with her," she said. "I like her where she is now."

That's the most reasonable thing anyone has said about reality television in years. Joining the cast means filming arguments, getting edited into a villain, and having your friends fact-check your dinner receipts on a podcast. Stewart stays safer as the mythical guest appearance, the Halley's Comet of the Polo Bar.

New episodes of "The Real Housewives of New York City" air Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo, with streaming on Peacock the next day, if you want to watch a billionaire lifestyle mogul be defended over a drink she may or may not have sipped.