NFL Week 3 Is a Mess of Broken QBs, Winless Teams, and One Frozen Grudge Match

Chiefs vs. Dolphins: Revenge of the Frostbite Game

You remember the last time these two met in January 2024. Minus-4 degrees in Kansas City. Patrick Mahomes looked comfortable. The Dolphins looked like they wanted to die. Kansas City won 26-7 and Miami's cold-weather trauma became a national punchline.

This time it's warm in South Florida, which is about the only advantage the Dolphins have going into today's 1 p.m. ET kickoff at Hard Rock Stadium. According to the New York Post, Kansas City rolls in at 2-0 after dispatching the Broncos and Colts, while Jeff Hafley's Dolphins are 0-2 after losing to the Raiders and 49ers. Oddsmakers have the Chiefs favored by 10.5 to 11.5 points, which is the kind of spread that makes you feel sorry for a city before the game even starts.

"Get out there and support the team, make it loud," Hafley told reporters, because when you're down 10.5 points before kickoff, crowd noise is pretty much your entire game plan. Malik Willis is under center. De'Von Achane needs to run. And the Fins need to prove this season isn't already over in Week 3. Hard Rock Stadium is on CBS.

Texans vs. Colts: A Duel Between the Damned

Two winless teams. One stadium. Somebody has to win, and neither of these franchises looks particularly thrilled about the responsibility.

The New York Post reports that the Indianapolis Colts have now lost nine straight games dating back to last season, a streak so bleak it deserves its own Wikipedia page. Head coach Shane Steichen, after a gut-punch 33-30 overtime loss to the Chiefs, offered the kind of press conference quote that tells you everything: "We are battling like crazy. There is a lot of football left." Yes, coach. That is technically true.

Houston comes in at 0-2 after facing the Bengals and Bills, which is at least a more defensible schedule than Indy's. C.J. Stroud and the Texans enter as 2.5-point favorites, per the Post. Lucas Oil Stadium, 1 p.m. ET, on CBS. Watch this one. Desperation football hits different.

Seahawks vs. Commanders: The QB Revolving Door Spins Again

This one has layers. Sam Darnold returns for the defending Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks after missing time with a Week 1 injury, stepping back in for backup Drew Lock, who apparently played so well in Darnold's absence that nobody in Seattle is sure they actually wanted him back. Lock led the Seahawks to wins over the Patriots and Cardinals in Weeks 1 and 2. He did the job. Now he sits.

Washington is somehow in worse shape. The New York Post reports that Jayden Daniels dislocated his left elbow in Week 2 against the Cowboys, which is the kind of injury update that makes you wince reading it on your phone. Marcus Mariota gets the start at Northwest Stadium in Landover, Maryland, and in a show of confidence that feels either genuinely touching or deeply worrying, the Commanders named Mariota a team captain. Their sixth captain. Washington also lost a 24-22 heartbreaker to the Eagles in Week 1 before Daniels went down, so they're 0-2 and banged up and now handing the ball to a quarterback whose last memorable season was nearly a decade ago.

Head coach Dan Quinn said the team has "a lot of confidence in Marcus heading into this game." Seattle is a 7.5-point favorite. FOX carries it, 1 p.m. ET, on Sling TV if you've cut the cord.

Panthers vs. Browns: The 1-1 Bowl Nobody Asked For

Carolina travels to Cleveland for the kind of midtier AFC-NFC matchup that exists to fill out a Sunday slate. Both teams come in at 1-1, and both teams have something to prove, which means this game will probably be ugly and competitive in exactly the way that makes football watchable.

The New York Post notes that Bryce Young and the Panthers are riding momentum from a 34-3 demolition of the Atlanta Falcons in Week 2. That is a number that demands acknowledgment. Thirty-four to three. The Panthers found their offensive rhythm, and now they want to prove it travels. Meanwhile, Cleveland won 23-19 on the road against the Buccaneers in a comeback, and Deshaun Watson and a heavy rushing attack will look to control the line of scrimmage at Huntington Bank Field. FOX, 1 p.m. ET.

Chargers vs. Bills: 0-2 Meets 2-0

The Los Angeles Chargers are 0-2 and heading to Orchard Park, which is roughly the football equivalent of showing up to a knife fight having already cut yourself twice at home.

Jim Harbaugh's squad took a 26-14 loss to the Las Vegas Raiders last week at home, and now they face a Buffalo Bills team that is 2-0 after beating the Detroit Lions 31-21 in Week 2. The Post reports Josh Allen and the Bills will lean on a raucous Highmark Stadium crowd and an aggressive front seven to put pressure on LA's backfield. The Chargers, the Post notes, are desperate to avoid an 0-3 hole. FOX carries this one, 1 p.m. ET. Sling TV has it if you need a streaming option.